Out The Mud
by autumnrenaye
Summary: "It's crazy how you don't ever realize shit is out of control until you are surrounded by chaos." This is a story about getting sucked into the fast life and losing yourself along the way. It's a story about grinding, hustlin', the dirty shit. "Once the realization hits, that's when you're stuck ... for good. There's no coming back."
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The author of this fic does not own Twilight or its characters.

This story is based on personal events. I won't tell you which character I played ... Just the lesson that I learned.

-X-

_**Out The Mud**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

**EDWARD**

It's Saturday night.

The Volvo's tires roll soundlessly against the narrow stretch of road, hiding underneath the thundering bass that is dancing through the car radio. I nod my head in rhythm to the song, and flick on the blinker to prepare for my merge onto the freeway.

I just finished a typical, double-shift at Newton's Pizzeria. It's Forks High School's homecoming weekend so the Saturday night crowd of rambunctious teenagers kept the crew members busy, which certainly helped moved the day along more quickly than usual. It's two hours past midnight now.

I would ordinarily be on my way home, but I have a stop to make in La Push.

My boy, Jacob Black, hit me up before I clocked in at Newton's to see if I was around. I was supposed to link with him at the beginning of the week but I'd picked up too many extra shifts. I ended up working seven days straight, pulling doubles on the days I was supposed to be off the schedule. I'm exhausted but I figure since it's the end of the week I'd better go ahead and get back to him with what he's been asking me for.

His house is not a far drive. I keep my eyes focused on the flow of traffic, as my exit off of the freeway gradually approaches. Thirty seconds later, I am back onto the residential streets. I drive past a Taco Bell with a ridiculously long drive-thru line. It seems like everybody is outside tonight, which makes my desire to get home that much more profound. I've never been a fan of big crowds. I like to lay low.

The rest of the drive to Jacob's house only takes five more minutes to complete. I pull up and park adjacent to curb of his next door neighbor's crib. Jacob's house is already surrounded by cars. The driveway is filled with haphazardly parked trucks and cars; some skidding into the grass in an effort to make more room on the gravel.

There are people lounging on his front porch. The door is wide open, allowing a clipped view into the dim-lit living room, which I sense is also full of people. There's a Drake song coming outside through the open windows. The music is loud and roaring; obnoxious almost. It reminds me a lot of the scene back at Newton's Pizzeria.

Everybody is turnt up tonight, including Jacob Black.

He did not tell me he was having a party. If I'd known I would have just waited until tomorrow morning to link with him. I'm riding dirty and I don't like being places that are liable to attract the police when I have my shit on me. This party is a magnet for attention.

I shoot Jacob a text to let him know I'm outside. I'm not going in. Every time you think you're about to do a quick walk-through during one of Jacob's party, you wake up the next day with no recollection of what happened. My back hurts and I feel a headache trying to make an appearance; probably the result from skipping out on lunch and dinner. I'm not in the mood to get lit. I just want to go home and pass out.

It doesn't take Jacob long to come out to the car. He passes the people who are gathered along the porch, acknowledging them briefly before descending down the steps and driveway. I unlock the passenger's side door, and he folds himself to fit into the seat.

"What's good, bro?" He asks, greeting me with a handshake.

"Not shit." I reply nonchalantly. "I just got off work."

Jacob nods his head to indicate that he understands and then he smiles and gives my shoulder a playful punch. "I've been trying to get in contact with your ass all week."

"I'm hip, man." I look at him earnestly. There's no bullshit in my response. I explain what I've been on this week, knowing that he'll understand. He can relate to the struggle. Jacob has never had shit handed to him either. We both have to get it out the mud. "I've been ducked off. I'm chasing the bag, trying to stay on top of these bills."

"Is Bella still working at the library?" He asks curiously, which shows me how long it's actually been since we've kicked it with Jacob.

Bella and I have known each other our entire lives. I don't like to admit it but she's had me tied down since pre-k. By time we started middle school I knew that I was going to marry her one day. Jacob was once one of her closest friends, so that pretty much initiated the friendship between me and him. During high school, the three of us were always together. Now that we're grown with bills, jobs, and responsibilities it's difficult finding the free time and energy to just hang out like we used to.

"Yeah, I'm trying to save up enough money so she can quit." A wave of pressure wafts over my back as I think about all the plans that are in my head. There are so many things that I want to do right now that I just cant, and it makes me feel aggravated and stuck. "I want her to finally enroll into culinary school."

A wide grin splits across Jacob's face. "I remember her always talking about opening her own dessert shop one day."

Since Bella was a kid she's always had a knack for cooking, and she's always had this sort of passion for baking and creating desserts. It's like she's in her element when she's cooking. Bella in the kitchen is the most natural, most intriguing thing to sit and watch. When we were younger, I would chill in her parent's kitchen while she prepared meals and talked about her goal to open _"Bella's Bakery". _Her dream was to have it up and running by time she was 25. The plan was to attend culinary school first, then to travel a bit to experience new foods. After discovering her taste aesthetic she would find a location somewhere in Seattle to start her business.

Every time she would talk about it she would just be beaming with happiness.

The fucked up part is that Bella could actually be achieving her goals in life if it weren't for me. After we graduated high school, Bella's parents decided to suddenly pack up and move to sever the "unhealthy attachment" between us. They didn't understand the thing Bella and I have with each other. Her parents, especially her mom, just could not fathom why a girl with such striking potential would settle for a fuck-up like me. They'd tried several times to keep me and Bella from seeing each other, but they eventually realized that Bella had chosen me and she was not changing her mind.

Long story short, they thought they could force her to move to Arizona with them but at that point she was a legal adult. Bella decided to stay here in Forks with me. She had no plan, no money, and no support from her parents but she swears that having me was enough. Truth be told, sometimes I wish Bella would have gone with her mother and father. If she'd decided to leave that day; I wouldn't have tried to stop her. I've always known that Bella was too good for me. She could do so much better than me. I'm just too selfish to push her away and force her to go.

As long as she wants me, I'm going to at least try to be the best man to her that I can be.

I exhale a gust of air I had not realized I was holding and rake a hand through my hair, staring through the windshield. "I'm gonna make sure it happens for her."

"I believe you." There's a distinct confidence in Jacob's voice and when I glance at him I see faith in his eyes.

It's reassuring to know he doesn't think I'm just talking out of my ass. I literally think about how I'm going to get my life together all day long. Every waking moment of the day I'm thinking of how to budget better, how to cut expenses, how to save more. It's a eternal headache constantly having your financial burdens at the forefront of your thoughts, but I have to force myself to stay focused on my main goal, which is to get myself in the position to make all of Bella's dreams come true.

"I owe her, man. You don't even know." I stare back through the windshield, sweeping my eyes over the dark road ahead of us. "I wouldn't be shit without her."

"She's still taking care of everything around the house?"

"Yeah."

Me and Bella have a two bed-room apartment together. She cooks everyday and she cleans, no matter how much I insist she leave a chore for me. She does her best with decorating since most of our money is going towards bills. Bella does everything she possibly can to make our apartment feel like home, and I appreciate that because it's something I never really had growing up.

She's just warm and she makes everything around her feel warm ... like Bella is home no matter where you are with her.

"Bella holds everything down around the crib while I work all of these hours. She still manages to go to work full-time too."

"_And_ she keeps Emmett on the right track." Jacob adds, which causes the corner of my mouth to twitch, I almost grin.

Emmett is my twelve-year-old, little brother. We have the same mother but different fathers. I ended up getting the dead-beat and Em ended up with the convict. Our mother is an alcoholic, albeit she's a _functional_ alcoholic. I mean, she maintains her job and pays her bills on time. It's just her lifestyle. It's dysfunctional in general. I didn't feel comfortable leaving Emmett with her after I graduated so I basically took him with me, and now he lives with us in our apartment. My mother was rather relieved she didn't have to deal with him anymore. It's been four years since I graduated and the last time Emmett saw her was the day we moved his stuff out of her house.

The relationship Bella has allowed Emmett to build with her is another thing I have to repay her for. She's the only positive adult figure that he has in his life, and she's the closest thing to an actual parent that he's ever going to get. Bella does everything for that boy. She helps him with his homework, she gets him ready for school, she takes him to his doctor's appointments, she goes to all of his football games, and she handles the coaches and principals when he acts up.

Bella is his world. Emmett didn't get much affection from our mother so he relishes in the fact that Bella is so open and giving with hers. He soaks it up. Everyday, all day he wants to be up underneath her. Sometimes that clingy shit annoys the hell out of me, but I've never once seen Bella act irritated towards his need for her attention, so most of the time I don't say shit.

"You have no idea."

"I still can't believe she's okay with you hustlin'." He kind of laughs and I understand exactly what he finds funny.

Bella is a quintessential good girl. She's your violin lessons taking, straight-A's receiving, national spelling-bee winning, classic overachiever. She was our high school's class valedictorian, and voted most likely to succeed. If there was anybody that could honestly say they never did anything wrong Bella would probably be the closest to it. She's my Miss Goody Two-Shoes.

I started selling weed as a side hustle back when we first started high school. I've always been responsible with it. I don't get too deep into this lifestyle, but I have become a reliable plug for a lot of people around Forks and La Push, mostly people I went to high school with, or people I know through mutual friends. There's other dealers in the area so I make sure to stay in my lane, to stay under the radar, and to stay away from the beef.

I earn majority of my money from working so much at Newton's, but that few extra hundred dollars I scrape up from hustlin' comes in handy at the end of the month, especially when times get tight. I think Bella knows where my heart is at, which is why she doesn't complain and nag me about it.

"Lowkey she's not okay with it but I told her to let me be a man and make decisions for myself. I know what I'm doing. I'm not going get myself in trouble out here or get lost up in these streets. I'm not stupid and she knows that, so she lets me do my thing. Shorty doesn't stress me about it."

"That's what's up." Jacob glances at me and nods his head in approval. "I always thought the vibe you and Bella have going on was dope."

I smirk and return his glance knowingly, remembering the first time Bella told me Jacob left her a love note revealing his feelings in her mailbox. "Nah, you've always wanted Bella for yourself."

Jacob throws his head back and guffaws, filling the car with loud laughter. He doesn't deny it because his ass knows it's true. "I ain't going to lie. Just a lil bit."

I punch him in the arm playfully, but I add some hidden force into the impact. "I'll fuck you up over that one."

He winces, laughs, and rubs his shoulder all at the same time. Jacob knows I'm just fucking around with him. This is how we act around each other on the regular. It's never been a secret that Jacob has a crush on Bella. Her unrequited love for him is an ongoing joke between the three of us, even Emmett used to tease Jacob about his feelings for Bella being so obvious, and Emmett's just a kid.

"Man, Bella doesn't have eyes for anybody else but you." He says pointedly, pulling out his phone and reminding me of the time.

"Here, let me get you your stuff so I can go ahead and get home." I reach around the armrest and retrieve my book bag from the floor of the backseat. "And you can get back to your party. What's the occasion?"

I unzip the middle section and reach into the inside pocket until my fingers feel plastic. I grab the baggie of weed and zip the book bag back up. Jacob has the fifty dollars ready when I turn back towards the front. We exchange and I sit back against my seat to wait for his response. He examines the baggie of weed before he speaks, revealing his satisfaction in the smile that spreads across his face. I plugged him, I always do. He paid for about 3.5 grams and I gave him 5.

"My homeboy Jasper came down from Seattle today. We just wanted to turn up. Man, dude brought some sexy ass strippers, he brought pounds of weed, _and_ he brought bottles. When I say people are in there fucked up..." He looks at me with wide eyes to emphasis his point. "I mean fucked alllllllllllll the way up!"

I chuckle and shake my head slightly, unable to relate to his enthusiasm. "That sounds wild."

"Man, on some real shit, you should meet Jasper." He says, suddenly serious.

Jacob knows that I keep my circle tight and small. I don't fuck with too many and I'm very hesitant of bringing new people in. "Why?"

At first, Jacob hesitates like he doesn't want to say what's on his mind. He waits a few seconds and then something inside him says, 'fuck it'. "Because he's moving weight." He says, sweeping his eyes over my face to gauge my reaction. I don't know what he sees but immediately wheels are beginning to turn in my head. I'm trying to figure out where he's going with this. "I know you're a dealer already but he can get you well connected, bro." My brows furrow as I realize that Jacob is trying to proposition me. I'm not confused but I don't understand why it feels like he's put some thought into this. He's never talked to me about anything like this before. "I mean, have you making so much money you _and_ Bella could quit working."

I've always had the thought in the back of my head to invest more time into hustlin'. It would be a quick way to make some decent money. However, there are obviously very troubling consequences that come with living fast and making fast money.

"I'm not trying to get caught up in this shit like that, Jacob." I tell him the truth. I'm scared to get sucked into this life.

Jacob nods his head because he understands where I'm coming from, but there's this determined look on his face that's telling me his mind is already set.

"No faking , I'm thinking about really going in with him." He says he's "thinking" but his voice has a decided tone. "I'm tired of working these long ass shifts at the diner, working on cars in my free time, and still not having shit to show for it."

I stay quiet and actually allow myself to picture what life would be like if I was making a few extra grand at the end of the month instead of hundreds. I would be able to lessen my work load and spend more time with Emmett and Bella, I'd be able to save up enough money to pay up the bills so I could focus on paying for Bella's schooling, and I'd be able to just breathe and live without this enormous pressure hanging onto my back.

It begins to sound a little too nice to my ears. I almost get lost inside the fantasy but something out of my peripheral vision grabs my attention. Inside my driver-side mirror, I see a black hooded figure rapidly approaching my car. They're coming up on my side with their hands shoved deep into the pockets of their hoodie. Seeing this unfamiliar person this late at night immediately puts me on alert and sends my defenses soaring.

"What the fuck?" I twist my body around in my seat to see if I can get a better look at this person through the back windows.

Jacob catches onto my abrupt shift in mood and turns to look at what has my attention. "What?"

"Who the fuck is that coming up behind us?" I ask roughly, watching the person get closer.

"Take it easy, Edward." Jacob's boyish laughter fills the car once again. He presses the button on the passenger's side door to lower my window; just as the stranger comes to a stop right outside my door.

The dude bends and leans forward, putting his face directly outside my window. His eyes completely bypass me and land on Jacob. I've never seen him around these ways before, so I'm not sure what his deal is. He doesn't appear to be threatening, but I still size him up in case I am forced to defend myself. You just never know with people. I don't put anything past anyone.

He's about the same height as me, or maybe a couple inches shorter. I can't accurately measure his height now that he's bending over. His hood is pulled over his head but I can still see the blondish-brownish looking hair spilling over his face. His eyes look like they are blue. I can't really decipher their color in the dark, but I can see how low and red they are. Dude is obviously stoned and probably drunk. Him being this close to me is stirring my annoyance.

"Are you good, bro?" I pose my question in a tone that lets him know I do not appreciate him in my space like this. My eyes are hard and uninviting. "Don't you know not to come up on somebody's shit like that?"

He switches his gaze onto me but nothing changes in his expression. He's looking blank and nonchalant. I notice his eyes do a quick sweep over my face, as if he's trying to record some details of me into his memory. I watch him with the same unfriendly glare until he rocks back on his feet, takes a couple steps away from my window, and puts some distance in between us.

"My fault." He says finally, looking at me sincerely. His tone is leveled. "Dude on the porch told me Jake was over here in the car."

"Yeah, that don't mean walk up on my whip like you know me. I don't know you, bro."

I lessen my glare but keep my eyes focused on him distrustingly. Eventually he holds both of his hands up in a surrendering gesture, indicating his effort to repair this first impression. He's obviously not trying to be on any hostile shit. It doesn't seem like he's intimidated; he's just not on that. He came over here to converse with Jacob not to start any trouble.

"Edward, chill." Jacob chuckles with humor, shaking his head at my aggressive streak. "He's cool."

I look at dude and nod. "Man, it's all good. It's no static. Just don't disrespect my privacy. I'm a very private person. I take that shit seriously. You could have been anybody. I'm not about to be caught lacking out in these streets. I have a family to go home to."

"I feel you." There's agreement washed over his expression, like he gets exactly where I'm coming from. "That was my bad."

"Now that _that's_ out of the way, this is my homeboy Jasper that I was telling you about." Jacob gives us a formal introduction, and I take a few moments to craft my second impression of him, given the information Jacob had provided about him prior to his sudden appearance.

I decide he doesn't fit the description that popped into my head when I pictured someone who moved "weight". He looks like a regular ass dude, just like me. He's got to be around the same age as me and Jacob, which is young to be deeply involved in the fast life. He looks real modest, real laid-back. He has on some black, Nike joggers and a black, Nike hoodie. His shoes are all black Vans. I note that though he went all out buying strippers, weed, and alcohol, he didn't feel the need to dress up and represent the amount of money he'd spent tonight; which would certainly earn him favor from these simple-minded females in Forks and La Push.

Something is telling me that he's being very purposeful with his choices tonight, like he chose his outfit with the intent to blend in at this party. I tell myself it's really none of my business before I become too intrigued, and luckily he speaks again so I am effectively pulled out of my head.

"What's good with you?" He wonders, keeping his tone conversational.

I look at him and shake my head. "Nothing honestly, I"m just rapping with Jacob for a minute before I take my ass home."

"You're not coming in?" His lips stretch into a smile and he jabs his thumb back towards Jacob's packed house. He shoots Jacob a knowing look and they both laugh. "There's a bunch of sexy bitches in there."

I have a few reasons for not wanting to stay and party with them.

One, I'm not interested in chasing pussy. It's hard already keeping these females in their places when it comes to Bella. High school was just a shit show. I couldn't even smile at a girl without it getting back to Bella that someone had seen me flirting. I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm oblivious to the desire women have for me, and I not going to pretend like I don't enjoy knowing the effect I have on them, _but _I'm also not about to place myself directly in the middle of a situation that could provoke temptation. I'm not stupid.

Two, I still don't really know Jasper. I can't let my guards down and enjoy myself around somebody I don't know, especially somebody involved in the streets. The conversation Jacob tried to initiate before Jasper popped up on us keeps replaying in my head, and now I'm beginning to wonder if Jasper's the one who put him up to it. My thoughts are going at about a hundred miles per hour and I'm just too tired to have all of this stuff on my mind right now.

Three, nine times out of ten, Bella is at home waiting up for me.

"Nah, I'm going home to my chick." I say simply , seeing no need to explain myself any further.

"Ahhh, okay." Jasper's understanding rests in his low-lidded eyes. He doesn't press the issue. "That's what's up."

Jacob opens his car door and steps out onto the curb, bending down to the window so we can remain at face-level. "What are you doing tomorrow? Do you want to match before Jasper heads back to Seattle? We got hella weed to blow."

I hesitate and give myself a moment to think my response over before voicing it. Tonight has definitely been interesting and my curiosity with Jacob and this Jasper dude is peaked. Like I said, I've known Jacob basically since childhood. He's a pretty decent kid, always has been. I never imagined him getting into the streets.

I've personally learned a few things about the art of selling drugs from my few years of experience, so I could be a great asset to Jacob in case Jasper tries to lure him into the game with false information. I can't have anybody bullshitting my boy. I have a soft-spot in my heart for him. Though we're the same age, the youthfulness in his personality has always made him feel like a little brother to me.

I figure it won't hurt to have a smoke session with the two of them at my crib. That way I can sit in and listen to some of the things they've been discussing, and make sure that Jacob understands exactly what he's getting himself into. If Jasper starts tripping or ends up being on that snake shit, we'll be at my place so I'll have the authority to put his ass out.

I turn the key in the ignition and the Volvo's engine purrs to life. "I mean, I'm off work tomorrow so you two can come slide on me. It's whatever."

"Bet." Jacob extends his fist into the window and I bump it with my own , just as Jasper rounds the car and stands beside them.

I catch his gaze before I pull off. It's the same calm and collected gaze from before, but this time there's a purpose behind his eyes.

I could spend all night wondering what that purpose is, and why it feels like I have something to do with it.

But then I'd have to ask myself, why am I even curious at all?

And why is that curiosity growing, cultivating?

_Settling._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : The author of this fic does not own Twilight or the characters.

**_Out The Mud_**

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

**ISABELLA**

It's going on 4am when Edward makes it home.

The apartment is silent apart from the tick-tocking of the wall clock. I am able to detect the click from the front door as soon as he turns his key inside of the lock. He enters through the doorway and I listen to the patter of his footsteps until they become masked by the living room carpet.

Edward doesn't immediately come into our bedroom. He assumes I'm asleep, so in an effort to leave my slumber undisturbed, he brushes his teeth in the main bathroom instead of the one that is attached to our room. The water from the faucet runs for about five minutes and then gradually shuts off.

Next, I hear him in the hall fumbling with the lid of the dirty clothes hamper. He likes to strip down to his boxers before coming to bed. He hasn't turned on any of the lights so he's navigating in the dark, which is why he's making so much noise.

Edward tries to ease open our bedroom door, but it still makes a slow, creaking sound as he twists the knob. It's dark in the room. However, there is a subtle glow coming from the paused television screen. Em and I spent most of our Saturday watching movies on Netflix. I paused the most latest movie after he ended up falling asleep. He's a busy-body so when he's actually tired I like to let him rest as peacefully as possible.

Edward moves towards the end table on my side of the bed. He begins to untwist the backs of his ear rings, so he can place the diamond studs in the jewelry box beside the lamp for safe-keeping. While he's immersed in his task, I study him silently for a few moments.

The first thing I notice is his obvious exhaustion. It's written over his facial features in a bold, attention-grabbing script. There are bags beginning to form beneath his eyes. They appear as violet, crescent-shaped shadows. I long to reach out with the tips of my fingers and soothe the skin where it was once milky and opaque, but I keep them itching at my side so I can finish taking a look at him.

The second thing I notice is his thinness. Edward's body is naturally tall and slim. He's been about six feet since tenth grade. Playing football always kept him toned, but he's looking really skinny, like he hasn't been eating enough.

I haven't seen much of him lately since he's been working so heavily at the pizzeria. It feels nice just to have him in the same room. I welcome his energy. I soak it up.

"Hey, baby." I say quietly, causing his eyes to shift towards mine.

My favorite, crooked smile turns the top right corner of his lips upwards. His gaze pulses hot and intensely, even in this dark room I can see the warmth in his acknowledgement. He closes the jewelry box and approaches my side of the bed, kneeling beside me until his knees are touching the floor and his face is a few inches away from mine.

"What are you doing awake, staring up at me with those big, pretty eyes, hmm?" He curls a finger underneath my chin and tilts my head, bringing my lips closer to his.

Like clockwork, my will melts away from my grasp and becomes a puddle in the palm of his hand. I don't have control over my body or my emotions when Edward is around. I react to him automatically, habitually. My brain doesn't have to tell my lips to part. They separate on their own and receive Edward's kiss willingly, greedily. I sigh into his mouth as his soft, skilled lips caress and capture my own. This kiss knocks the breath out of my body, and replaces the oxygen with a warm pressure that initiates in the pit of my stomach.

Edward attempts to get closer to me but I put a hand to his chest, stopping him before the weight of his body can cause the bed to creak.

I pull away from his lips reluctantly, and nod towards the other side of the bed. "Shhhh, don't wake up your brother."

His eyes travel to the lump that he probably assumed was the bunched up comforter and his eyebrows knit together in irritation. He takes a hand and rakes it through the copper strands that sit just at the top of his head. The tendrils are flying in every direction due to the constant manipulation of his fingers. The back and sides of his hair are also disheveled, but somehow his hair frames his face in a way that exemplifies his best facial features, which just so happen to be his emerald green eyes and perfect, pink lips.

"Really, Bella?" Annoyance is the first thing I detect in the tone of his voice; exasperation is the second. "I told you he needs to sleep in his own bed. He's twelve years-old."

"I know but he fell asleep while we were watching a movie, and he just looked so comfortable I didn't want to wake him."

Edward really wants to be irritated, but he just can't bring himself to speak negatively on the concern I have for his brother. I'm aware that I'm not Emmett's mother, and Emmett is aware that I'm not his mother, but my goal is to love him in a way that makes him feel like he's isn't missing out on much without having his mother in his life.

I've never seen two boys more deprived of maternal love than Edward and Emmett. Unfortunately, the lack of love they received growing up has already molded Edward into a distrustful person; with a heart that is extremely difficult to enter. To this day, I'm still trying to get him to let his guards down. It's an uphill battle with him. Sometimes, he's open and expressive. Most times, he's closed off and guarded.

Before Emmett decides to push away the rest of the world like his brother; I'm going to show him that sometimes believing in love doesn't result in pain and disappointment.

Edward kisses his teeth, but holds back from complaining any further. "I'm about to go put him in his bed."

I grin at him gratefully and he rolls his eyes, but I see the smirk sitting at the edge of his mouth. He rounds the bed and scoops his brother into his arms in one quick motion. He does not struggle to maintain Emmett's weight. Edward lifts Em's sleeping body until he is folded over his shoulder, and he carries him out of the room as if he's as light as a feather.

I scoot deeper in the bed, towards the middle where Emmett's body has left a warmth in the sheets. Edward returns a couple of minutes later, pulling the door shut until it's about a centimeter away from being closed completely. He doesn't close the door all the way because he wants Emmett to feel welcome to enter our bedroom whenever he should feel the need. Though I've taken notice, I do not comment upon his courtesy because he likes to seem as if he's hellbent on pushing Emmett to grow up.

Edward slides into the bed beside me and lays on his stomach, burying his face within the black, satin case that covers the pillow. The television has finally timed out so the room is encased in total darkness now. I can not see the smooth, alabaster skin of Edward's back, but I can make out the lining of his body moving gently as he inhales and exhales.

"How was work today?" I wonder softly, stretching out my arm until I feel his soft hair between my fingers.

I play with the messy strands and scratch his scalp, listening as his breathing evens. He hasn't fallen asleep yet. This is just the first time today he's allowed himself a break, a moment to unwind. A pang moves through my chest as I think about how much he's been pushing himself lately. I pray he's not overworking himself with the intention of putting all of the extra money he pulls together towards sending me to culinary school. We already went through this once before. I told him not to worry about that right now. As we continue to work and save, our finances will eventually accumulate enough to pay for my schooling _and_ sustain our household.

We'll get there one day. It's a process.

"It's homecoming weekend so there were a whole bunch of kids running in and out of the pizzeria." His response is laced with sleep. I love the way his voice sounds just before he allows the slumber to take him. So gruff, so rugged. "The day went by pretty fast."

My fingers move from Edward's hair to his back. I rub slow, gentle circles around the center of his spine. He often complains of this area aching. Edward releases an exhale that causes his entire body to relax. He hums his approval into the pillow when I increase the pressure of the circles. He's about to be sleep soon.

"You looked exhausted when you walked in, baby." I say, keeping the volume of my voice slightly above a whisper.

He pulls his face out of the pillow so he can reply to my observation. "Yeah, your boy is wore out."

"Thank You for working so hard this week." While his face is turned towards mine, I lean forward and kiss his lips. "I appreciate you so very much."

Edward doesn't give himself enough credit. It's like he doesn't even see all of the things he does for me and his brother. He's always beating himself up about what he's unable to do. I can't really be too sure why Edward puts so much pressure on himself. He doesn't talk to me about it so I can only infer. I _think_ this habit has stemmed from his fear of ending up like his parents. He refuses to fail the people who are close to him. Simple.

"Mmmm." He kisses me back, quickly dominating my mouth.

I don't allow the kiss to last long or progress. He's tired and I want him to sleep. I just haven't had much time to talk to him, and I need him to know I've been paying attention to his hard-work and effort. He continues to astound me with the unyielding devotion he has for me and Emmett. Edward doesn't communicate his feelings through words. He does so with his actions. All of this non-stop working is a huge, non-verbal articulation of his love.

I can't count how many of my girlfriends have hit my line complaining of their man partying all the time, not coming home, or getting into senseless trouble with their homeboys. I don't have to worry about that type of stuff with Edward. He works and comes straight home. All of his free time is spent with me and Em. Very rarely does he step out and kick it with his friends, and if he does I don't trip because I know all of Edward's friends personally. I trust them.

"I didn't get to see a lot of you during the week." I peck his lips one last time before letting him rest. "I missed you, baby boy."

"You missed me?"

"I did."

My appreciation for him is immeasurable. I wish my parents could see past his difficult upbringing, and actually notice what type of man he's trying to mold himself to be. They don't know his heart, or understand his values. To them, Edward is only as good as his bad reputation and his alcoholic mother. And that's just unforgivable to me because he is the person I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with.

When I look at him, I see nothing but potential. I have nothing but faith.

"Well, I'm not on the schedule again until Monday..." He uses his last amount of energy to get that sentence out and seconds later he's sleeping.

I pull the comforter over both of our bodies, encasing us in a radiating warmth.

His body heat sparks a wild fire in my heart, and when he reaches out to pull me into his chest ...

_The vessel is set ablaze._

**...**

I'm up again a few hours later, sitting on the cool, leather sofa with the morning news humming on the television.

Edward is still sound asleep in the bedroom. Hopefully, he won't be waking any time soon. Today is the only day he'll have to rest and recuperate before going back to work, so I'm praying he'll allow himself some time to actually sleep _good_. Emmett is still asleep as well, but I'm about to wake him in the next ten to fifteen minutes. Him and I have a few errands to run on this crisp, Sunday morning.

Emmett apparently doesn't recall receiving the flyer for his school's annual picture day last week. Before our Netflix binge, I just so happened to check his backpack and find the crumpled up piece of paper. The boys know how I feel about picture day. I take it very, very, _very_ seriously. I like the photos to be beautiful and polished because I frame them for display around the apartment. I knew we weren't going to have enough time to do everything I usually like to get done for picture day, considering the short notice and the fact that services are limited on Sunday.

Much to Emmett's relief, we've decided to settle for just a haircut and a new outfit this year. The barber shop isn't open on Sunday, so I called in a favor to my friend Alice. She's the spa manager at Massage Envy, but she has her cosmetology license and does hair out of her home in her free-time. She does amazing line work with clippers, and her rates are extremely low. Miraculously, Alice doesn't have to work today and only had two hair appointments lined up later in the evening. I know she wants to enjoy her time off before servicing her first client, so I gave her my word that Em and I would be knocking on her front door by eight-thirty.

That way she'd have the rest of the day to spend her free time as she pleases.

I'm listening to the weather forecast and finishing the rest of the homemade muffin I've been absently nibbling on. I've opened the blinds in the living room so the early, morning sun is streaming through the windows. The warm, golden glow causes shadows to dance around the furniture. I love the way this room looks first thing in the morning. It's so illuminated and peaceful.

I have a sugar-cookie scented wax melt heating in the oil warmer that I've placed strategically on the entertainment center. It blends in with the cable box and other gadgets we've placed around the television, so there's no way to tell that _it_ is what's producing the amazing smell throughout the house. The wax melts cost me a dollar and some change at Dollar Tree, which leaves me feeling fiendishly delighted every time I inhale and catch a whiff of the sacchariferous aroma. The smell is so precise you'd think there was a fresh batch of cookies baking in the oven.

I put effort into decorating and making the apartment feel homey because that's the experience I had growing up. Every single morning I woke up to the smell of my mother preparing breakfast, and I feel comforted when I reminisce upon those years I spent living with my parents. The memories are genuine and personal. They aren't faded recollections that lounge in the back of my mind. They are startlingly vivid, past experiences I can still touch and grasp.

The smell of her buttery, homemade biscuits entice my senses in a special way. I can taste the biscuit's flakiness _and_ fluffiness both fighting over the attention of my taste buds. I'm right there in the middle of mom's kitchen. I'm right there in the moment ... except I'm not.

I'm not in my parent's kitchen in the home I grew up in; I'm here in the apartment and it's time to get Emmett up.

He manages to get ready fairly quickly; showering, dressing, then warming himself a muffin in the microwave. We're leaving out of the door in less than thirty minutes. It's eight o'clock sharp when we actually begin our ride to her house. She lives a good fifteen minutes away, so that makes me and Em ahead of schedule.

Emmett and I talk about everything during the journey. Our conversations are boundless. Today he reiterates to me a scene that occurred in his science class on Friday afternoon. According to him, there was a big dilemma when the class had to split into three groups for a science experiment and all three group leaders, which were girls, wanted Emmett to be in their group. This caused an uproar in the class and put Emmett in a difficult position because the teacher delegated him the power to decide which group he wanted to be a part of. Now, the predicament of the whole situation is that Emmett was forced to choose between his ex-girlfriend, his current girlfriend, and the girl who lets him copy her science homework.

My belly is aching with laughter as Emmett explains the story with the animation and dramatization of an energetic kid.

By time we make it to Alice's house, tears are streaming down our faces and we have to take a few minutes to compose ourselves.

The story is funny the first time around, but when we're sitting in Alice's kitchen and Emmett's retelling it for the second time, I am literally laughing so hard that I can not breathe. I met Alice in middle school so she came into the picture around the time Edward first started going through his celebrity phase with the girls too. Following in his brother's footsteps as quarter back of the football team, he unknowingly signed himself up for all of the frustration the _"unwanted"_ female attention would bring. Alice just thinks it's so hilarious we're reliving the same situation over again.

"Bella, how is it that a sixth grader manages to have three different girls brawling over him and I can't even manage to get one man to act right, _one_!"

I shake my head slowly, recalling some of the stories she's been telling me about Tyler lately. "You know it's different for Edward and Emmett. They just have to breathe and the girls will declare their love to them."

Emmett chuckles but manages to keep his head still as Alice takes her time defining the lining across his forehead. She does not use clippers. She's been cutting the lines by hand with scissors. Personally, I think her technique is phenomenal. Emmett has the thickest, curliest hair ever so seeing her tame it so effortlessly is really impressing me. Her skill is very indicative of her passion for beauty and style.

"Em, how does it feel to be famous?" She wonders, moving to the left side of his head.

Before school started, Emmett wanted a taper haircut. The hairline around the perimeter of his head is shaved very short. The back is faded up to about his earlobe. The rest of the dark, curly hair at the top of his head is about three inches long. The chocolate brown curls fall naturally around his face. So striking. They pull you right into his deep, hazel eyes.

"It's tough because Jessica keeps getting mad that the other girls won't leave me alone." He answers her with a seriousness, even though she'd only been prolonging the joke. "My friends told me I can have more than one girlfriend, but my brother only has Bella, so I only need one." His words are so purposeful. They immediately grab my attention and I begin to listen to what he's saying more closely. "Besides, if I have too many girlfriends I will have too many kids. I don't want any kids I can't be a dad to."

Alice and I glance at each other at the same time. We're probably thinking similar thoughts. There's no way this heavy content should be on the mind of a twelve year old little boy. A pang of guilt causes my stomach to twist into a tight knot. I'm not his mother, but I am his guardian, so I feel responsible for his happiness.

I expend an enormous amount of effort towards distracting Emmett from the reality of his life. I keep him immersed in sports and extracurricular activities through his school. He's made several friends since starting football so I'm frequently driving him between the mall, bowling alley, skate-park, and diner. I make sure he's always busy so his mind can stay busy. I don't want him to become idle, sitting around thinking about his mother and father. If he starts asking questions, I'm not going to have the answers he needs and Edward isn't going to open up.

I'd just hate to see him crushed with disappointment, or worse, resentment.

"That's very smart, Emmett." Alice says encouragingly.

"You know what else is smart?" I give Em a stern look that causes his dimpled smile to reveal itself. "...focusing on finishing school, and not getting distracted by girls."

Alice is at the right side of his head now. She's already lined up the front, the left side, and the back. She's almost finished and it hasn't even been twenty minutes yet.

Another ten minutes and Alice is holding her pink, bedazzled hand mirror up to Emmett's face. "How do you like it?"

Emmett takes the mirror and angles it all around his head to get a good look of the haircut. He seems to like what he sees. It's crazy looking at him now because I've watched him grow over the years, and he's just so much like Edward when he was younger. At the same time, Emmett has a youthful innocence that Edward never had. He's growing up in a different environment than Edward, and I'd like to think that it's having a positive effect on his outlook on life.

"It's cool!" He says with approval, throwing Alice a high-five. "Now, all I need is a new outfit. Right, Bella?"

"Yep."

A streak of excitement brightens Alice's slender eyes. She bounces with enthusiasm and her jet-black hair swings with the movement. "Oooh shopping! Can I come along?"

Of course, Emmett agrees to her company. He's a people person. That's where he differs from both me and his brother. I've always been introverted by nature, so I've kept a small, close-knit group of people I mingle with throughout the years. Edward's inability to trust people has prevented him from establishing very many meaningful relationships, so he talks to a few people from time to time, but he's most content when he's staying to himself. Emmett on the other hand, thrives when he's around a bunch of different people. His teachers and coaches are always commenting on how approachable and sociable he is. Em has charisma and a spark that makes people like him, and he soaks up the attention because it makes him feel like he matters. Even when we are home, Emmett is normally in a room with me or Edward. He hates being alone.

"Are you sure, Alice?" I ask, pulling out my phone to check the time. "I know you have clients later."

"That's not until way later in the evening, Bella. You know I can't resist an excuse to go to the mall."

**...**

Four hours, ten stores, and three cinnamon pretzels later, we're finally making our way back into the apartment.

The living room is a lot different than how we left it. The blinds are closed, blocking the pale, gold sunlight from entering the space. Instead, the floor lamp beside the television is on and faced towards the wall, dimming the brightness that is allowed into the room. The television is running softly, but it's switched from cable and stationed on the X-box. Edward's bluetooth speaker is sitting on the counter in the kitchen, playing an old Wiz Khalifa hit from a couple years ago. The volume is set so high that the music can be heard as you are coming up the stairs outside.

Edward is sitting on the couch. I notice him first and then I notice the two boys on either of his sides. One of them is a familiar face; the other I have never seen before. They all look towards the door when Alice, Emmett, and I make our entrance. I glance at Edward questioningly and his forest, green eyes acknowledge me with warmth. He's basically telling me that this guy's presence is no big deal, but it kind of is because Edward never lets anyone he doesn't know into our apartment. I'm trying to figure out what the significance of this boy being here is. This is not just a random get-together.

My eyes zero in on the unfamiliar face, and I find that he is looking directly at me. I observe him quickly and silently, noting the features about him that stand out the most. His haircut is similar to Emmett's but most of the back of his head is faded and shaved low. His curly, blond hair at the top is gathered into a bun. He doesn't have any facial hair, but his eyebrows and eyelashes are both thick and prominent, designing his face with hairs that are shade or two darker than the hair on top of his head. His skin is milky and smooth. He has a youthful complexion that resembles liquid cream. His nose is long, straight, and centered, like it was cut from an outline and pasted meticulously onto his face. His lips are full and pink, behind them I see blue metal, revealing to me the braces inside his mouth.

He has a cordial expression on his face, but his blue eyes are alert, as if he doesn't want to appear to be paying such close attention to our arrival.

"Edward, check out my haircut!" Emmett yelps, pulling me out of my moment of intrigue.

He moves from my side and runs over to the couch where the boys are sitting. Edward's glass container that he stores his weed in is on the coffee table. There's three, small sandwich bags filled with weed on top of the coffee table as well. I'm not alarmed to see the drugs so casually out in the open. Edward isn't secretive with me or Emmett about his side hustle, so seeing the stuff around the apartment is not a rarity. He also smokes daily, so that's not what has me so curious about this situation.

There's a weed grinder, some tip-top rolling papers, and a pipe mixed among the jar and sandwich bags. The more I study this scene; the more I understand what is taking place right now.

"Bella's got you looking fresh, I see." Edward smirks, ruffling Emmett's curls as he sits beside him on the arm of the couch.

Jacob reaches across Edward's body and gives Emmett a playful shove, causing him to almost lose his balance."Check you out, little dude."

"Jacob!" Emmett responds to Jacob's invitation to play with eagerness, attempting to reach over Edward to get him back, only his arms are not as long as Jacob's so he kind of knocks into Edward during the process. "It's been so long since I've kicked your ass."

"Not a chance."

The two of them start their hectic game of wrestling, falling over and around Edward, causing him to spill the weed in his hands.

"Hey, hey, hey..." I exclaim, watching them with apprehension. "Please no horseplay in the living room."

Luckily, Jacob takes the caution in my voice seriously and gives Emmett a push that has him sliding off of the arm of the couch onto the carpeted floor. "You better be glad Bella stepped in because that was going to be your ass."

Emmett keeps trying to play but Edward shoots him a look that makes him chill out.

"What are you guys up to?" I wonder, offering each of them a glance, but resting my eyes on Edward.

He takes his lighter and flickers the flame along the length of the joint he just rolled. "We're just having a quick session with Jacob's boy, Jasper."

My attention is pulled onto the blond-haired boy again and he's still looking at me. His eyes don't hold anything threatening. The blue orbs are flat and idle. Eventually, he sends me a closed-lip smile to initiate our greeting.

"Hello, I'm Isabella." I say warmly. "It's nice to meet you."

"The Isabella I've heard so much about." When he speaks, his voice is lazy and slow, as if he's already had a bit to smoke. "It's a pleasure."

"This is my good friend, Alice." I say, waving my arm out towards her. They nod at each other politely.

"Where are you coming from?" Jacob asks, taking in the shopping bags that are clutched between mine and Alice's hand.

"The mall. I got Em a new outfit. Tomorrow is picture day."

Edward puts the joint to his lips and takes a pull, testing to see if fire has lit the paper evenly. "He needed a new outfit for that?"

"Edward, I wanted him to feel confident. How you feel about yourself reflects in the photo. There's no confidence booster like a brand new outfit."

He looks at me wryly because he wants to chastise me about spending money on things we don't really need, but he doesn't press the issue since we have company present. Edward and I aren't the type of couple that discusses our problems in front of people. We're extremely private when it comes to the inner-workings of our relationship, which is one of the things that has kept the course of our relationship on a smooth track. Back in high school, when all our classmates would post their business as soon as they'd disagree with their significant other, Edward and I were vowing to keep the details of our relationship between the two of us. It's worked out for us so far.

Edward's eyes peer at me with his reprimand written across them, but he swallows the words of censure just as he swallows the smoke from his second pull from the joint. Then he passes it down the line to Jacob. The living room is quickly erased of the sugar-cookie scent, and replaced with the distinct aroma marijuana takes on after it has been heated by flames.

"Go ahead and put your stuff up, Em." I say, nodding towards the hallway to his room. "I'll make you some lunch."

"Okay."

As Emmett exits the living room, Jacob passes the joint to his friend. I assess Jake to see if much has changed about him, but he's still the same vibrant person he's always been. His ink, black hair is shorter since last time he was around. Instead of falling to his shoulders, the tresses are chopped short. Besides that nothing else has changed. His eyes are still deep, brown, and soulful. His skin is still terra-cotta, sienna - the color of anything caramel.

"Do you want to hit this, Isabella?" Jasper asks, as I am observing Jake.

My eyes switch onto him. Again, there's nothing alarming within his expression. He watches me patiently, waiting for a verbal response. There's nothing wrong with smoking weed. I don't judge anyone who does. I've indulged a few times with Edward and Jacob, but I am not an avid smoker like they are. It's something I have to be in a specific mood for.

"No, thank you." I shake my head but offer him a smile.

He accepts my answer without protest and turns his attention onto my friend. "What about you, Miss Alice?"

I have not missed the way Alice's eyes have lingered on Jasper since realizing he was present. She's obviously struck by his outward appearance. He's attractive without a doubt. His demeanor is so casual, so laid-back, I can't really pick up too much about his personality. I _can_ tell that he's aware of his appeal to the opposite sex, which is why he chose to prolong the moment to actually acknowledge her.

As soon as he does; she's totally putty in his hands.

"Sure." She beams and drops her shopping bags onto the floor, skipping over to the couch. She falls into the tiny space between Jasper and Jacob, forcing Jacob to scoot down a cushion to make room for her.

He hands the joint to her and Alice takes a couple of quick, shallow puffs. She's sworn since high school that this is a proven technique to get you "higher". It was always me, her, and the boys. I remember us parked on the beach parking lot after school, passing around a joint in the back of my father's old, rusty pick-up truck. We would spend the rest of the day driving to random locations, attempting to free the truck of any traces of the weed aroma.

This almost feels like old times, but there's an extra body here.

"So, what are you boys getting into today?" I ask, walking around to the kitchen.

I place my bags on the counter, and head to the fridge to see what we have on hand. I took out some chicken breasts last night to unthaw, so I'm thinking about adding that to some veggies and whipping up some pasta.

"Jasper has to go back to Seattle." Jacob responds, picking up the X-box controller. He resumes the game of Call-of-Duty between him and Edward.

Alice passes the joint back to Jasper because Jacob is engaged in the game now. It's just about burned out. Instead of risking a burn to his pink lips, Jasper ashes out the rest of the butt in the ashtray. He reaches across Alice's body to grab one of the baggies on the coffee table. She doesn't mind his proximity. Her eyes flicker over to mine and she winks, which causes me to giggle quietly to myself.

Once an infatuation starts with Alice; it doesn't end until she runs them away or they lose her interest.

"You stay in Seattle?" She asks, as he pulls a nugget of weed out of the plastic bag.

"Yeah, but I come through Forks like every other day." He's about to begin the process of grinding the weed, but his phone makes a low chirping sound in his pocket. "You might as well say I live here."

She watches closely as he checks his phone, most likely watching for signs of discretion. Jasper doesn't show any. His blue eyes glow bright and purposeful as the light from his phone screen illuminates them. They sweep over the screen, giving no reaction to the content it shows. His expression doesn't change. He doesn't blink.

"Do you have a place here?" Alice begins her questioning again after he's been occupied for at least a minute.

He returns his phone to his pocket and looks at her with low eyes. "You sure ask a lot of questions, darlin."

"Excuse me, you're like the hottest thing that's come through this place since the fringed-boot epidemic. Of course, I'm going to ask questions! The fact that I don't know you personally is very upsetting to me."

Everybody in the room laughs at Alice's exclamation, including Jasper. I think the boys find her rant a whole lot funnier because they're all high. I love Alice's boldness. She has this courageous ability to say what's on her mind confidently and unapologetically, always, no matter the circumstance.

"You're a cute, little thing." Jasper says, eyeing her with humor. "I like that hyper shit."

"Omg Bella, look!" Alice relishes in his declaration and all but jumps into his lap. "I just found my future husband."

"Don't you think it's a little too soon for the wedding, Alice?" I try to warn her to pull it back a notch because her _in-your-face_ personality isn't for everyone and can be overwhelming, but Jasper is actually genuinely amused by her buoyant energy.

He's the one who ends up hyping her. "Nah, when I come back to Forks next time I'll have the ring and everything."

Little does Jasper know, he's sealed his fate with Alice. Her attention is officially captured and she's going to make it her mission to decode every single fact about him. I'm not going to lie, I find myself wanting to know where he came from too. How he managed to get into Edward's good graces and be welcomed into our home is beyond me. Something tells me that he isn't going anywhere anytime soon, and when his eyes settle onto mine a faint chill runs down the length of my back.

There's a message behind his sparkling, blue irises and it says ...

_I'm here to stay._


End file.
